Smile Through the Pain
by Mandy138
Summary: He remembered him smiling, always at the most inappropriate of times. Where the hell did he hide those damned things? Didn't anyone ever tell him tears and smiles don't go together? Kakashi, Obito. Kakashi, Sakura. Post 428 .
1. Chapter 1

* * *

He remembered days of laughter.

There was blood and sweat and tears, too – many tears – but laughter…more than anything; daylight and camp nights filled with it. Was it ironic that the source of most of the tears was one and the same for laughter? He hadn't thought it so at the time but now he might reconsider it. Or view it as some kind of profound and foreboding warning.

Or something.

He couldn't really think rationally through all the noise.

He should be annoyed – severely so – at the complete disregard for the importance of drills. He should march right up like he had done so many times in the past and smack some obedience and respect into the little snot-faced, blathering idiot laughing his guts up all over the training grounds. But he was strangely frozen, able only to watch and just be so damn _glad_ he still could after all these years. And then sensei and Rin joined and they overpowered anything else he might have been trying to think up.

Even though he was surrounded by the sound, the feeling of being an outcast was just as strong now as he had remembered it then. Despite all his talent and skill and genius, _he'd_ always been the one on the outside.

There was a brutal storm coming judging by the strong winds and ugly clouds. He glanced away from the sky back to the three. He shouted, waved his arm to get their attention.

_Hurry! _The storm would be upon them in minutes! They had to get away!

But they didn't budge; never ceased their endless display of amusement – _joy_ – at the simple delights of life. The wind raged. He gripped onto the tree that had been keeping him company, battling the storm. And even as the wind picked him up and he shouted his voice hoarse, the only noise to register in his ears was the glorious sound of their happiness.

His little hands were nothing compared to the wrath of nature and his battle was soon lost, his grip following. And as he tumbled through the torrent of nature, he watched as they faded, their laughter finally dieing away. He reached for them, still driven by the need to warn them of the danger they couldn't see. But the phantom howl of the wind served him no longer and he was made deaf to their joy and laughter.

His body was giving out and dark was closing in; he was blind and deaf. He could resist no more and his body demanded rest. He drifted, unable to fight and let his sight fall. He didn't know if the blackness held anything more than the death it was offering. There were things he still wanted to do, but he supposed he would have to be alright with letting go here. He had little choice.

But…

He remembered laughter.

He remembered _happiness_, even if it wasn't his own, as the night descended. Warm arms held him as his awareness faded and the sum of it all finally lulled him to sleep.

He remembered thinking spring must be close.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

He could smell…something…something sweet. Light, but definitely there, enveloping him in an aura of calm he didn't otherwise think he should necessarily be feeling.

He frowned.

He couldn't remember _what_ had happened –even fragments escaped him – but his subconscious just knew he should _not_ be feeling _calm_.

His thoughts paused as his ears picked up on noise buzzing in and out – slightly at first – slowly enfolding him. He shortly recognized it as mumbling. People?

He tried to crack open his eye in the hopes of gauging the situation just incase he proved to be in enemy hands, but even that proved futile after several attempts. Instead he tried to lean his ear just a little more towards the conversation. Maybe he could pick up a few lines to determine if this was a good position to be in or not. The only good that did was make him grunt.

Well, maybe he'd try again later… They certainly hadn't done anything to him yet, and it didn't seem like they were planning to. Besides, the warmth surrounding him almost felt like…a medic's chakra.

He could afford a little nap.

* * *

Sakura really didn't know where to begin. There was little physical damage but his chakra was dangerously low, and she meant _dangerously_. He was well past the point he'd instilled in them to never cross. She'd heard he'd taken Pein out. Or _a_ Pein. However one chose to look at it. Although he'd suffered more mental and physical fatigue, his body had sustained little trauma. She wondered if that meant that Pein and Kakashi had been trying to mutually maintain their distance from the other. Didn't _that_ line of speculation speak volumes?

She had thanked Katsuyu and sent the offshoot away to either relieve Tsunade or help elsewhere and shook her head in wonderment, continuing to focus her energy on his waist where the little bodily distress he'd obtained was isolated. Sometimes she wondered about him. He was pretty much amazing across all spectrums…and she wasn't necessarily sure that was a good thing in every instance.

Well, he seemed to be okay except for the abrasions to his forearms and legs where the rubble had crushed him. The hip fracture had been hairline, so his most serious injury had merely been consequential and not too serious at all. It had resulted from environment and not his aggressor, after all. So she viewed it as a job well done.

A commotion interrupted her well deserved sigh of relief and she turned to watch wide-eyed as one, two, six, seven ANBU filed through the window. What the hell!?

"He is to be kept here until further notice," the last directed, hanging from the sill. He'd been looking straight at _her_. "He is not to leave this room. Hokage's orders," the ANBU messenger stated. He looked briefly to the incapacitated Kakashi before speaking to her again. "Make sure he is completely healed," he hurried out before rushing away. The orders were alarming but it had been his calm tone that had sent quaking tremors along her arms. So dead, monotone, like a machine…or a very poorly made clone.

What _nerve_! As if she would leave _any_ patient unhealed! What a jerk!

She set about her task of re-evaluating him, just in case she'd missed anything - and to show that pompous ass just how great her skills were – while shooting a few second glances to the contingent and a half of ANBU that stayed behind. She was still huffing and puffing from that asshole, but the guard formation they'd taken up hadn't escaped her notice. _That_ made her wonder.

She looked back to Kakashi, viewing him through new eyes, almost morbidly curious as to what suddenly necessitated this call for personal security. Having mostly gotten over her anger, she could only nod belated at the instructions. She had no idea the extent of damage done outside had reached, but orders were orders; although she couldn't deny that a large part of her was grateful for the direction. It gave her a path to follow when her mind was too flustered to even begin tracking down her own thoughts, never mind trying to rationalize and dictate orders to others. So, she took the simple gift for what it was and got to work, leaving the _big_ decisions to others.

She wished Shizune was here. She could use some reassurance…or news. Plus she didn't know how much longer she could keep issuing commands to the understudies drafted into emergency hospital duties.

"So," he said, voice breaking after his trauma, "what's going on here?"

Her eyes shot to his, body jolting in surprise. He was in the process of taking in the room and currently giving the guard to his left a stare-down.

"That's what _I'd_ like to know," she said through clenched teeth, hiding the jump his sudden consciousness elicited. He couldn't tell if she was just angry or disturbed. As far as he knew she hadn't lost consciousness and knew more about the current state of affairs in Konoha than he did. Either way justified her anxiety.

She looked around the room and glanced briefly at him before returning to his legs. "How long have you been aware?" she asked, medic mode taking over.

"Hmm. Since the circus arrived with a parade of elephants through my room," he commented, looking the man off to his left up and down. She threw a look at his remark, noticing the subtle tensing of the guard's posture. Looking back to Window Guy 1 and 2, she noticed they broke visual contact with Kakashi to gaze intently out the opening. Kakashi was pleased to see they had the decency to be ashamed. He sighed to himself and wearily closed his eye. Honestly, what kind of ANBU announced his presence to the entire village?

The guard directly beside Kakashi – now bearing the brunt of his gaze – briefly glanced to one near the window before both discreetly nodded at each other and Left-Side turned to face him again. "We are here for your protection, Hatake-sama."

Both he and Sakura started at the honorific. He was used to being addressed with many titles, but that was not one of them. Something told his chest to tighten and it listened. He was glad for the moments Left-Side took to phrase his thoughts before speaking as it allowed for him to consciously unbind his suddenly constricted heart.

"In case." All six guards briefly looked out the window. "Should things not go favorably, you are to be inducted as the next hokage."

His shallow breath left him. He was sure that's what had happened judging by the force leaving his mouth. He met Sakura's wide stare, knowing his was just as obvious. All pretense of healing him vanished as her concentration left her.

She couldn't break the stare. Well, she'd gotten her wish. That wasn't good news at _all_. What was she going to do without Tsunade!? She…she couldn't lose her. She would be completely lost and there was still training to complete--

"Complete your task, Medic," a harsh voice grated. It was not unkind.

She tried to snap herself out of it – once, twice before finally succeeding – and tried to even out her breathing, having been disturbed enough to start hyperventilating. Not as quickly as she should have, she knew; knew the others did too by the stares she could feel on her back. She held her tears back and tried to suck the water up escaping through her nasal cavity by sniffing, refusing to let them fall by way of either route, and brought up newly glowing hands to again mend Kakashi's hip.

She felt his hand resting gently against her forearm before she saw it. She'd been concentrating so fiercely on healing him and blocking her traitorous thoughts that she hadn't even seen him shift. And before she could think better of it she met his gaze again. His brows were pressed into a line. 'I know,' they said. 'It'll be alright,' they said.

She searched what she could of his face, looking for anything else that might be present there. 'I'm sorry' was in there, too, she thought. He looked so different without the Leaf band to hold the hair from his face.

A gentle squeeze, his fingertips pressing softly into her arm through the sleeves and she was back to work.

She had a hokage to save, even if he wasn't hers yet.

* * *


End file.
